This is not about the novel by Danielle Steel or the movie 'Big Girl', most of all it is not about becoming fat! Although all the above topics seem interesting, I thought about sharing the Sri Lankan experience of menarche. Menarche or a girl's first period might bring give girls flashbacks of embarrasing maybe painful memories. For guys, it would sound 'disgusting!'.
At the age of 13ish that's what I thought about it; disgusting. Even though Sri Lankan girls are not educated in this prospect as in other countries, we all hear about it through our friends(exaggerated versions). After about Grade 7(12 years) the more time more late you become, the more pressured you become. Everywhere you go, even some distant relations house, they all want to know whether you are a 'big girl'. And if you haven't got that period then its as if the whole world is coming to an end. They ask you questions on what you have been eating and then give your parents advise on what to feed you and so on. Some on the other hand try to be discreet, they don't ask whether you have become a 'big girl' but when you say goodbye and give them a hug, the women touch the whole of your back to see whether you are wearing a bra!(arrrghhh!!!)
Even with the whole pressure of not having a period in Grade 8, I still didn't want it like the other girls in my class. I was happy, I could eat anything and do anything without telling another girl to check whether I have 'leaked' in my uniform.
The fun didn't last for long, at the end of one faithful school day I started my period. I went home without looking at the male population as best as I could and then informed my mother. The beauty of informing my mother was that I was locked up in a room with a 'nail' and a 'hammer'! (the nail and the hammer was given to protect myself against evil and loneliness. So if you are ever lonely or feeling that evil will come and get you...you know what to do).
For a few days till my 'Kotahalu Mangalya' (a party to announce and celebrate a girl becoming a 'big girl') I was locked up in a room and treated like a princess. I could only have female visitors since it is considered that seeing males before the 'Kotahalu Mangalya' will bring you bad luck. For a few days I had the time of my life, watching movies, reading books and having my breakfast,lunch and dinner in bed at my wish.
In between all this, I was given the talk. The talk, in Sri Lanka is quite different from the talk women around the world have (I hope!). I was not told how it happened or why it happened, I was only told it happens once a month and thats all I need to know for now.
After few days of being locked up, the day finally arrived. At the auspicious time in the morning at freezing temperature I had to have a bath of ice cold water with medicinal herbs,etc in it and then strike a Jak tree to see whether 'milk' (milky sap of the tree Artocarpus integrifolia) will come out of it. The milk coming out of the tree is symbollic and will determine whether you will have children or not (so they say).
After that I was covered by a big white clothe and taken inside. While going inside I had to break a coconut on the way 'for good luck'. Dressed in the colours which the priest suggested would be auspicious for me, I went to worship each and every older person who came for the celebration. The day was filled with lot of worshipping, smiling, celebration and gifts - lot of expensive gifts.That was the only good thing about becoming a 'big girl', no matter how small the jewellery will be, you will at least be left will 3 - 4 pieces of gold (yeah GOLD) after the celebration.
No matter how embarassing your menarche was, I bet at least few of you might be thinking "Thank God I didn't have to go through all of that!".Right?
- SrI LaNkAn On ThE Go-
*'Big Girl', an expression used by many Sri Lankans to show that a girl has got her 1st period
* Most of the rituals written here would be Sri Lankan Buddhist rituals although Sri Lankan Hindu rituals would be relatively similar to the Buddhist rituals.
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